today, work.
tomorrow, work.
the day after tomorrow,

surgery!
hope it's a sucessful one.

god bless. x)

PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN !!!!!!!

MY GASTRIC IS REALLY VERY THAT... EXTREMELY PAIN !!!

PAIN LAH !!!!

I dont expect anyone to be there for me when i am down.
But please,
DONT CREATE MORE NONSENSE FOR ME ALRIGHT?!
i seriously had enough of all these.
How many times u want me knocked down?
I have been down for years and is trying my very best to stand up and pull myself together.

IF YOU, are not going to help me, please don't contribute more stuff to kick me down. can? please?

IM TRYING MY BEST TO BE HAPPY YOU KNOW PEOPLE?

Its so fucking damn hard coz of u people to give me shit and ppl around me dying.

STOP DYING LA!

STOP GIVING ME NONSENSE LA!


god damit. Life's a crap



someone once told me she's a perfect gf.
she said i'll soon see for the future to come
and yes, im looking at how perfect you are now.

you killed me perfectly x).

why should i lead life with principles?
caring, loving, doting, hurting... when people don't understand, don't cherish, don't appreciate.

people who don't understand, will not feel a thing at all.
people who don't cherish, will just take my effort for granted.
people who don't appreciate, will just kill me soon.

real soon x).

Im referring to you all so called close people. "brothers" "god relationship" "love one"

what will be left when you kept burning a frosted heart?

It's fire.

You managed to save us both.

Actually really planned to give up everything on that day... planning to go clubbing and drinking at night and just wont give a damn about life anymore that day. But somehow she managed to save our relationship and our love back.

she came by my house but didnt managed to find me... so she came by my workplace that day.
You really make the right choice by coming ... if not that day will be the end of our loving story.
End of my trust for you and this world.

we had a long talk that day.. i actually leave my workplace just to talk with her. lucky the camera is down. hahaha.

But she skipped work and rushed down for me and of coz our relationship.. seems like both of us still care very much for this relationship.

Yes, obstacles make us grow, make us bond too.
Hope after this the both of us learn to cherish and appreciate each other better.

For so much love i gave,
so much care i gave,

plan surprises for u which i nv did for anyone,

plan to make a cake for u which i thought its dumb,
got help from godmom to teach me how to make the cake,

plan to place that present i got for you on the car seat while u open it,

plan to place that ring we made right on top on that present,

plan to put it on for you,

plan to let u put it on for me,

plan to let u wear thoses dress i got for you where i get nothing for myself,

plan to even marry you where i hav nv even thought of it for anyone before,

our couple wedding ring, the day we got it made.
seemed so sweet.


But why must you disappoint me again and again?

have u changed?

what went wrong?

why must you do this?

u once told me u dont wanna get hurt again.

once told me u truely love me.


seemed so true.

yes, i've swallowed enough.

and its today,

that im officially dead.
x))

LOL FUCK THIS WORLD !

No more...

yes im moody.
yes im can no longer fake a smile.
yes im depressed.
yes im totally disappointed.

But no im not going to complain.
im trying my best to hide.
im trying my best to swallow down everything till i no longer can take it,

and die.

till then, please..
No regrets
x)).

Frost __iced

why did you let me down?

why?
do you even care?
is everything really one sided?
Am i not the first you wanna be with?
I dun even feel like saying out anything.
but you just cant seem to understand how i feel.

I just felt like im dead.

again.

am i going to be just who i am as before?
FROST?
piece of ice with no feelings.

today---> so hurt till i can no longer feel.
depression state really going to let out the devil within myself.

Everyone at least showed a little concern.
but the one i need isnt there... not for once.

why did you let me down?

fuck the what?

today is my worse day. zzzz im feelin totally depressed. -_-. early in the morning got a great disappointment, face some really fucked up customers, cameby some exchange goods which gave me a headache. at night closing my partner mess up the whole closing process which drag me down to fix the problem for her. -_-. I ALREADY SAID LET ME DO IT RIGHT !?! -___-. zzzzzz.

My mood went so down today that i think i raise my voice on my supervisor on phone. zzzzzz.

NOTHING FUCKING WENT SMOOTH !

why?!

even the person i pin my only hope on, let me down.
down down down..............
totally disappointed.

xin hui yi leng.

HAIZ..............

Where am i heading?

So busy working that i no longer know myself. today is 12th of april. every 12th of the month my company staff get to buy maximum 3 different items of different types in the store. staff price range from 30% to 40%. Entitled 3 items. i bought 2. its till after that i realised i bought all 2 which isnt for myself. 2 woman top. my boss asked who am i buying for. i said for my girlfriend.

My boss said i must be doting on her very much as im wasting 2 rights of mine as a staff to buy sometin which isnt for myself at all. its only then i realised... i did. i actually bought somethin for her instead of for myself. -_-. I seldom or rather never put anyone before myself.

Hope she worth me doing this.

Have been feeling down. Guess i kept too much things inside. wanted to find ways to say out or vent it out. but just cant. But who will understand me? No one like a unhappy guy isnt it.

But im just faking that smile outta my face. -____-. is that the guy u want?

Depression

I think i am having depression liao. Gonna gain better control of myself. Hope no more nonsense would cameby and affect me... again and again...

Please lah -_-.

I am tired of everything...

Need a break =]

-_____________-

Received a call from my model agency ytd. i was told that selected models get to be sorta "cultivated" by a big client. i was told to be one of the shortlisted models. get to enjoy facial at price of $35 where package is $85. Others was sponsored by the client. on top of that still get $20 allowance.

i was thinking... u wanna cultivate us. why not just sponsor 100%. =DD. zzzzz. modelling line makes me really sianned. everything's realistic and practical. x.x . who wan facial ... tell me. price at only $35. just say u are frost from i models . LMAO. zzzzz.

This world really make me really tired. the humans..... really disgust me. x.x ranging from young to old. i hate this realisitc, complicated world. how nice if everyone is just nothing but true to you, wholehearted.

No matter how close... they all distant when time goes by. Have been giving myself more than enough chance to bluff myself that it's not true. but facts are still facts. so vividly. Yeah that smile on my face... seem so real. -ed.

I dare not hope. Dare not dream. just do my best in life.

How i hope people dont change. Can one remain the same? I dun wish for forever but at least for one lifetime?

fuck humans

Sometimes even close friends dont worth your trust. So why should i even fucking believe a stranger anyway? fucked. today a auntie cameby my workplace today.. and wanted to save 2 pieces of dress.. my supervisor said that's not allowed. But that lady really wanna buy that dress just that she dont have enough cash. she said if we can save that 2 pieces of dress for her she will come back and buy both of them by tonight.

She said her daughter sure will love that 2 pieces of dress very much. My supervisor still insisted that it is not allowed. then... i told that lady i will save it for her but she MUST come back by tonight to buy them. she said ok she really will come back. i told her cannot trick me or i will kena scolding from boss. she said she really definately will come back by 7pm. i have been repeating... " DONT BLUFF ME LEH..... CANNOT BLUFF ME LEH...." but she is still v firm with her reply.. that she definately will come back to claim the 2 dresses.

but by 8pm today i still never get to see this fuckin auntie. until 10pm close shop also never see her. nb ! i go against my supervisor and help u save this 2 dress. u like that ah? make me believe u thought u so wanted to buy this 2 dresses for your daughter so much.

This totally remind me of all the past fuckin incidents that happened before. Even close friends might not worth trusting. why should you fucking believe and help a stranger and get smack on the face in return.

Fuck humans. none can be trusted.

I HATE HUMANS !

tired..

i am really really very tired and disgusted with all the nonsenses and complications created by humans.

World's full of crap = world's a crap.

-.-

fucked