April 22nd Thursday

Before i start to write anything i would wanna say that this post is going to be emotional. It's going to be moody and really down. Guess my days haven been good lately. Conflicts here and there.... Complications... totally ruined my mood.

If everyone is to meant what they say...
to cherish and appreciate before everything is too late,
wouldn't this save alot more tears and pain?

Today,
im stressed up.
I have got combined full band rehearsal in the morning which drove me crazy.
All these scales.... totally give me a big headache.
what's worse is all these scores which seems so stranger.
at one glance, u have to side read and play it on the spot.
just right there, i give the these music scoresssss to u now and please... play it now.

am i like superman?
no im not like the others.
they obtained grade 8 in music, diploma in music, major in music composition.
what am i?
im just a guy who played in the band during secondary school.
secondary school hello? thats 5 freaking years back.......!
this totally crack my head.

and now im the life co-ordinator of the band that means more workloads.
but these are still fine... still able to cope.
what totally kill you, is when the people u want to understand you,
dont understand you at all.

This is so draining that i just feel like keeping quiet.
im physically and mentally shaggedddd.
sometimes, i may not say but i really yearned for some care, concern and understanding.
sometimes, i really want someone to assure me that everything is going to be fine.
sometimes, i really need some love.

Today, im caught in a thunderstorm while going back home.
from camp to the bus stop is really quite a distance away tho.
the lightning and storm, it's scary.
But still i'm there walking in it, holding my spoilt umbrella.
im drenched, totally.
Just when i reach my bus stop, i missed my bus.
I felt really miserable tho.
while im in the rain, i have been thinking.
im braving through this storm just to save time as to get home earlier.
Saving time, cherishing every seconds. How many really do?

Right at that moment, days in ninja life flashes back again.
It's thanks to ninja that i've know the importance of time, the importance of getting home, the importance of seeing your family, your love ones.
But, other than my mom, who else can really feel my suffering during my days in ninja?

Alright let's not drag it too far away.
at that point of time,
the main thing that ive been wondering about,
is why she can mentioned that meeting me is everything when she chooses not to meet me but to meet everyone else when she have the time.


Till then,
im felt miserable